Gun Protection at it's Best

> A Craigslist Ad:
>
> To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
> Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
>
>
> I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that
> I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my
> girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's
> purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this
> rather important message.
>
>
> First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect
> you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you
> took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the
> jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber
> Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for m
> y birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very
> evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon
> when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
>
>
> I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from
> with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse
> walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and
> wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your
> buddies to come help mug us again].
>
>
> After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your
> cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went
> and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the
> gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home
> took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
>
>
> I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along
> with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
>
>
> I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was
> parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window
> and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
>
>
> Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma
> Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a
> little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I
> managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and
> one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
>
>
> The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess
> while he traced your number etc.).
>
>
> In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I
> feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for
> your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some
> of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you
> have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the
> career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you
> might not be so lucky.
>
>
> Have a good day!
>
>
> Thoughtfully yours,
>
>
> Alex
>
>